Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Hump Day Hump Lesson: Some Of You Are NOT Paying Attention

I read this today, just minutes ago, on a friend's status on Facebook. I have to say I'm simply DUMBFOUNDED by it. Rather than spout off on someone else's page, I borrowed the status to pen up a note. Buckle up, kids....

"What happens when a woman has an orgasm? The uterine walls contract, and she experiences rhythmic, muscular contractions of the uterus, vagina, and clitoris. For some, it may feel like a typhoon. For others, just a flutter. So instead of trying to bring her to orgasm, men should concentrate on ensuring that women enjoy the interaction. Absence of an orgasm doesn't mean failure, but absence of arousal usually does."

Um.... WHAT??

First of all, shaving down the act of orgasm to medical fact makes it sound clinical. That's like saying all that happens for a man is "His penis becomes rigid, friction will make ejaculate expel." Right. That's all there is to it.

Let's pick this apart a bit, shall we?

For some, it may feel like a typhoon. For others, just a flutter.

If it's only a 'flutter', I'm going to suggest that the women this applies to masturbate more. I realize I'm blessed in being multi-orgasmic and have the Big O's that shake the roof. I get that. BUT.... a flutter? I think of butterfly wings as fluttery. Butterfly kisses are fluttery.

Orgasms RIP through a woman. Your toes go numb sometimes. Your thighs shake uncontrollably. The face becomes flushed. Your nipples harden. And with proper knowledge it can happen again and again, with or without a partner, in rapid succession.

That's not 'fluttery'. It can, at times, feel other-worldly. If you have yet to feel such a sensation, ladies, do it for yourself FIRST and then? Educate your lover. (Have we not been OVER this??)

If you're fortunate enough to have a lover or a toy that hits your G-Spot, it's not a typhoon either -- it's a virtual tsunami. That wet spot on the bed is mostly a woman's fault if things are done right. Women can release CUPS of fluid from a body that is worked right.

So instead of trying to bring her to orgasm, men should concentrate on ensuring that women enjoy the interaction.

Again I will say, WHAT. The. FUCK?? The interaction? As if her pleasure is not even secondary -- Hell guys, FIRST she should just enjoy the fact that you're there! SECONDLY, it's the interaction. Then MAYBE her pleasure can be a point of interest.....

FUCK THAT attitude, Ladies.

If he's only in it to pump and dump, and treat you like a jizz receptacle? More than once and it IS your fault. Relaying such indifference to the masses is WHY there are so many shitty lovers in the world. Pretending a woman's pleasure doesn't matter is a sure fire way to be labeled a DOUCHEBAG for an indefinite time period.

Absence of an orgasm doesn't mean failure..


Yes it does.

Because I do NOT know many men who would stand for a woman getting their dick hard, taking a ride, and then jumping off before HE got HIS, leaving HIM a horny mess with no release. Unless you are having sex for the expressed reason of procreation only, and the ONLY point in the act is to get the Man Batter into the Oven, sex is about MUTUAL pleasure. If you can not please her? You have failed. Buck up, men. It's the truth. I'm not going to pat you all on the head and say, "It's okay slugger. You just try again next time!" If you finished, and she hasn't? You'd damn well better figure out how to help her finish. The only time it's okay is when she was dumb enough to fake it and lie to you, and I wouldn't blame a single man for THAT crap. Some women deserve Oscars for their performances. THAT isn't your fault... unless you are aware enough to LOOK for the BIOLOGICAL signs so eloquently laid out at the start of this. Noises can be faked. Other bodily responses can not.

but absence of arousal usually does.

This goes back to the whole, "If you have to spit on it first, you're missing some major steps here..."If you're glazing over foreplay and she's not ready? This falls on BOTH parties. A woman should speak up if she's not quite THERE yet, and a man needs to be aware of when he's rushing things too damn fast.

Bad sex?


In 2011?

Damn it, I thought I covered this already.

I did mention in a previous note almost about this VERY same thing that a woman will, on occasion, "Take one for the team" if she's just NOT feeling it and wants to please her man. If you love him, and you know the mood in your own chemistry is NOT right for things to work in the Netherlands, it's a loving thing to just make love to him and not worry about what happens with your own body, but it should NEVER NEVER NEVER be expected to BE that way. Ever. I mean, any woman who's ever nailed a man with Whiskey Dick will tell you that trying to get HIM off in that particular circumstance can feel daunting and endless. But to say that a woman's orgasm doesn't matter in such a stark statement belittles everyone involved.

What shocked me was that this status was posted by a woman, not a man. From a man? I might understand it -- a little misogynistic humor that we women do not count. But not from a fellow sister. Not from a grown woman.

Ladies, seriously, it sounds very feminist of me but damn it -- Own your own "O".

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